A Miracle in the Works

As I sit and write this, I am mostly filled with shock and elation. We went to another ultrasound yesterday and received the most amazing news. For the past three weeks, we've been meeting with doctors as much as twice a week, checking for a heartbeat and essentially waiting for the baby to die, so we could deliver our stillborn girl. My mother, who is staying with us, just finished a burial gown for her to wear and I just finished knitting a blanket to bury with her. We were just about to begin contacting funeral homes.

But then a miracle happened.

Yesterday, we went in for an ultrasound expecting to see that our baby had died. What we found is still a complete shock to me. The baby has completely turned around. She has nearly doubled her size over two weeks time. (4 weeks ago she was 205g, 2 weeks ago she was 253g, but yesterday she was 420g!). The amniotic fluid, which had been 3-5 cm for the last four weeks was 12.7 cm!! - well into the normal 8 -20 cm amount) The doctors have had concerns about potential blockage in her intestines and swelling in her head around her brain. Yesterday there was no evidence of anything wrong with those two things. Her heartbeat was strong and she was moving all around. The technician pointed out several factors that indicated that she is growing and thriving. "Her bladder is full, her belly is full, the blood flow through the umbilical cord is good, etc" "Usually when a baby is going to die, they become lethargic and slow down and the organs only do a minimal amount of work, this baby is using a lot of energy."

Is the same baby we've been watching for the past four weeks?, we thought. We were floored. We asked the doctor what could have brought upon this change. She gave two possibilities

1) I switched to a different blood thinner (heparin) in anticipation of wanting to deliver the stillborn baby quickly - perhaps the heparin has been more effective than the lovenox I was on at thinning my blood and getting nutrients to the baby - Thank you, Jill Barkdull, for suggesting the switch!!

2). prayer. Yes, she actually suggested that as the reason for the change.

I have a feeling it might be a combination of both. We know so many people have been praying for our sweet baby. It seems that Heavenly Father has answered those prayers.

We are not out of the woods by any means. There are still some very pressing concerns. While the baby has grown dramatically, she is still much smaller than she should be (about two weeks behind), so they aren't ruling out a potential chromosomal defect. Also, there seems to be a problem with her aorta (it may be thinning and another vessel is possibly picking up the slack). There's a decent chance that she may need heart surgery after delivery. But that's the point - AFTER DELIVERY! She is expected to be born ALIVE, which is something we were told would be impossible.

Also, because my placenta is still large and there is evidence of blood clots in and around it, the doctors worry that it will come to a point where the baby will have a better chance of survival in the NICU than in me.

What is next? On Tuesday, we will go to Seattle Children's Hospital to see a neonatal cardiologist. They will do a complete echo cardiogram on the baby via ultrasound to determine if indeed there really is a problem with her heart and what the prognosis might be. On Thursday, we will go to the specialists we've been going to just to check the heart rate and blood flow to the baby.

A week after that, the specialists will take another ultrasound, this time to check the baby's growth. If she reaches 500g, which we suspect she will given her recent increase, we will meet with a neonatalogist from the NICU to discuss possible delivery and survival scenarios. Essentially, they will want to monitor my blood pressure, blood flow through the umbilical cord, the baby's growth, etc to be sure that the baby is getting everything she needs. There may come a time when they will want me to stay in the hospital for constant monitoring. If my womb becomes a hostile environment, they will do an emergency c-section.

I feel like I have been walking on clouds all day. My baby that was dead, has a chance to live. She can still make it. She can still be with us. It's not perfect and there are still many risks and challenges ahead of us, but a ray of hope has burst through what has been very dark, dark clouds.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have called, emailed, and contacted us. Thanks to those who have helped us with meals and babysitting. We have been so grateful for everything our friends and family have done to help us during this time. I have felt the power of your love and prayers lift up our family. I know Heavenly Father answers prayer. I also know that He doesn't always answer our prayers exactly the way we want Him to and I have been accepting that fact as we have waited for our baby to die. But sometimes, miracles do happen and sometimes prayers are answered just as we would have them. We are hopeful that this is one of those times.

Please keep those prayers and love coming. We need it as much as ever. I'll keep posting updates as we get them.