Who Cares About the Joneses

DISCLAIMER

Upon first posting this entry, Matt made me feel that I didn't exactly get the point across. He seemed to think that one of the unintended messages I may be conveying is "I'm a slob and I don't care." That wasn't exactly what I was going for. I think what I was trying to say, but perhaps wasn't as clear as I wanted to be was "I'm not perfect, but I'm okay with that. I'm pretty good and certainly not a complete and utter mess, but I'm not stressed about being the best especially when compared to other people." With that is as my disclaimer I will now repost this in its original entirety (except I've made some grammatical corrections)


I've given some thought to this for a while. I think it's quite common for people, especially women, to compare themselves to everyone around and find themselves lacking. There seems to be a culture of worrying about never being good enough. I hope I am making sense with all of this. I understand that some people truly worry about whether they match up to their perfect peers or what they perceive to be their perfect peers.

I've been thinking about this for several weeks now, searching myself - and I'm telling you, I don't think that I have that problem. I don't know why, but I really don't feel a lot of pressure to keep up with the proverbial Joneses (and I'm not just talking about consumerism - though I really don't have that problem).

Examples:

I don't care too much about what people think about my parenting style.

I don't care if people see my beat up car - with the all of the paint scratches, the cheerios on the floor and the side slightly crushed in from a little fender bender.

I don't care that I don't like to clean (and therefore have a less than clean house most of the time), wear make up, or scrapbook.

I don't care that I don't wear designer clothing, but instead wear t-shirts and khakis (none of which cost more than $8 (shirts) or $15 (pants)) almost exclusively.

I don't feel a lot of pressure to be skinny, though I want to take care of myself.

I don't feel the need to be crafty, funny, or creative.

I don't know, I've run out of examples. But I promise, I just don't feel like I'm always behind or below anyone around me. Now that does not mean that I think I'm perfect. On the contrary, I am painfully aware of my short comings - and there are MANY! But I guess I just like myself anyway. I do my best. I focus on the things are most important to me and I try to forget the rest. I stress about the things I can do something about, and not the ones I can't. I trust that there will always be someone who is smarter, cooler, and better than me, but that doesn't detract from my smarts, coolness or "bestness." I have many demons but trying to keep up with the Joneses is not one of them. I also remind myself that even people who appear to have it all together, have their own demons and struggles too and most of the time I wouldn't want them!

I postponed writing this entry because I was sure that I was overlooking some obvious instance in my life where I really felt the need to do or be something in order to fit in or to feel accepted. And I just can't right. I even asked Matt if he thought I was being truly honest with myself on this subject. He seemed to agree that this is not one of the problems I face. Still, I believe that there is a possibility that there may be a flaw in my personal analysis, I just haven found it yet. I'll keep thinking about it and see if I can think of anything. But for now, don't worry I don't if I'm like you or anyone else. I'm just me and that's the way I like it.