Burger King or Bust

Busted.

It all started so innocently. I was making an early Walmart run Friday morning. As I turned into the parking lot, I glanced at the Burger King across the street. The following thoughts ran through my mind. "Hmm, wouldn't some yummy hash browns from Burger King be good right now? Oh, I don't really need them... let's see how a feel after I'm done shopping." So I dutifully headed into Walmart. By the time I was done, I was convinced that my little urge was just that, a little urge - nothing to really worry about. So I drove home without a second thought of actually stopping at Burger King. I conquered this craving, I'm a bigger person than that.

Not an hour and a half later, Ellie and I were heading to a Move with Me class at one of our church buildings some 10 miles from our house. We left a little earlier than we needed to, so we were going to arrive about 10 minutes early. I came to this realization, as I sped down the 395 interstate. My thoughts "Hmm, well we've got some time. Maybe we should try to find a Burger King and get those hash browns, there's no problem with that, I mean we've got nothing else to do."

And thus began the quest, the search for a Burger King in Alexandria, VA. Who knew it would be so impossible. Taking the appropriate exit to get to the church, I decided to go in the opposite direction because I knew there was more stores in that direction rather than the church.

First, it must be explained that I was specifically looking for a Burger King and nothing else. McDonald's, while it also sells hash browns, has inferior ones. As everyone knows, they just sell you one big huge hash brown - that's usually pretty soggy. Burger King's hash browns are little rounds that are always crispy and yummy.

Imagine my horror as I drove more than two miles down King Street and found no Burger King - despite the fact that I passed THREE McDonald's. I finally realized that I would need to turn around and head in the other direction. I knew that there was a fast food stop near the church, though I was pretty sure it was McDonald's, but hoping I was wrong I set my hopes on that.

But, alas, my initial belief was right - yet another McDonald's. I continued on my way to the church. But by this point, it was an obsession. I must find a Burger King - I know one exists. I took a turn down Quaker Lane (completely out of the way to the church). Quaker leads to Duke street, yet another area with lots of stores and surely there is a Burger King there.

But it was not to be. For the life of me, I couldn't find one. MY KINGDOM FOR A BURGER KING!!!!!! 40 minutes into this pathetic search (that's right forty minutes!). I finally gave up and headed to the Move with Me class - arriving 40 minutes later rather than the 10 minutes early I would have arrived had I not temporarily lost my senses. For the record, I passed TEN (yes ten) McDonald's during this pathetic quest.

It was like a double loss - no hash browns and we were hugely late for the class. What an embarrassment. I am an educated, sensible, adult who is completely capable of exercising self control and yet all of that was thrown out for the love of hash browns. I must be pregnant. I can't believe myself.

Postscript: Let it be known that Saturday morning Ellie and I made a quick trip to the Burger King near Walmart, which is not more than one mile from my house. (thank goodness) We shared some simply scrumptious hash browns. Turns out, Ellie likes Burger King hash browns too. I should have bought a large one instead of a medium. Oh well.

Postscript #2: Let it also be known, that after a quick Google search, Matt determined that, indeed, there is not a single Burger King near the area that I was searching - confirming that my search was all in vain. And that is what is wrong with the world.